aud1out

The last few weeks of my life have made me see things in a whole different way. I realized a number of things that had been completely blinding me. I expected. I expected a lot of things from me, the people around me, from life itself. I kept these expectations in my head thinking that it’ll act as a motivation to reach that level someday. But slowly and gradually, I kind of forgot that these were just expectations. They soon became the only way I saw reality. When things turned left or when something acted as a threat to my preferred(expected) version of reality, I denied it and started to escape it. I made excuses instead of seeing the truth. This cycle went on for a long time until an event that occurred recently that really URGED me to see things exactly the way they were. And when I did, I experienced something I had never felt before. I felt everything but it felt like nothing. I felt everything that I had been feeling since a long time… but this time, I allowed myself to feel it without any filter, without any excuses or without any hint of denial. And when I felt it, I was completely indifferent to it. And so I felt everything and nothing at the same time. I felt a kind of transcendence. And honestly, when you see reality as it is, it can’t be disappointing; no matter where you stand in your life. It can’t be disappointing because if it is, you’re still seeing it from the spectrum of your expectations. If you truly see reality the way it is… it just is. And when you do, you’ll be so free. And not ‘free’ in the known human way where you still have restraints, but ‘free’ in the way that nothing holds you back.